1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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