Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
These tits shall not be calmed
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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