There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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