i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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