walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
