i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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