so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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