why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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