some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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