I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
