Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
