Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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