Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
