We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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