did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
