Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
