We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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