are you still at the devil's house?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
