Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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