Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
