shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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