I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize