so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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