He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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