I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
