please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
