Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
