wrigley field is MILF paradise
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
