So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
operation harelip BJ is a go
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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