Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
