I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
