We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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