So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize