i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
