NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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