I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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