Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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