The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
