belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
