I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
