Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
