We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She needs sedatives and a leash
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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