Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
