My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize