A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
