so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
