I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
