Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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