so that wasnt chicken after all
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
