Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize