Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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