This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm too high and old for this...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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