I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
