it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
