Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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