Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Randomize
