I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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