You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
