You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
