i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
