it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
