so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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