we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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