glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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