Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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